Ambigusly Aligned Generic Guy

One from May, 10th, 2011.

Stranger: Hello!
You: Und, hallo!
Stranger: What's up?
You: Well, lots of things
Stranger: Oh no...
You: My ceiling, for example.
Stranger: I see, I see.
Stranger: I surely hope that's up.
You: You do?!?
Stranger: Yes. I'm spying on you this very moment.
Stranger: Better cover your webcam.
You: But...
You: I don't eve...
You: wait...
You: Oooh! You're trying to trick me!
You: But I'm not that easily fooled, [GENERIC VILLANEOUS NAME]!
You: Blast! Your plan is foiled again!
Stranger: I would never try to fool you, for I am [GENERIC GOOD GUY]! I'm only try to warn you of the dangers of chatting online with strangers!
You: Oh, really?
You: Thank you, then
Stranger: Of course, of course! What would you have done if I really were evil? It'd be too late for you by now.
Stranger: I'd probably be sneaking up behind you this very moment.
You: Well, I probabl would have died. Or something worse... y'know, like it's aaaalways "worse than death".
Stranger: Very slowly.
You: You should hurry, if you're too slow I could run away.
Stranger: Psh. As soon as you'd start to run you'd twist something.
Stranger: Those are the rules.
You: Oh, damn rules.
You: Well, you probably wouldn't win at the end. Unless this one of those downer ending stuff;
Stranger: I'd probably use your body to gather organs or something.
Stranger: Keep you alive during the majority of it, of course.
You: Or that
You: You're mean. YOU CAN'T BE [GENERIC GOOD GUY!]!
Stranger: *cough* Well, ummm... How could I defeat evil if I'm not throughly familiar with it? Right?
You: Well, I guess you're right... again
You: THIS IS SUSPICIOUS!
THE GOOD GUYS ARE ALWAYS A LITTLE DUMB AND NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!
Stranger: If I were evil would I have this?!?

*pulls out a plush fox and pushes it in your face*

See him?!?
You: You... you are... right? I guess...
Stranger: Exactly.

(When you have nothing logical to say, distraction is always a good second choice...)
You: Wait! You distracted me?!?! How could yo- oh look! that plush fox is sooo cute!
Stranger: *snickers*
Stranger: All going according to plan... yessss...
You: Well, ambiguosly aligned friend.
You: I must bid you adieu.
You: I'll sleep now.
Stranger: Okies. Have a good night! Sleep well!
You: Thank you. Even though I know you don't mean it and I'm probably get murdered or totured while I'm asleep.
You: But thanks anyway.
Stranger: No problem. I do hope you sleep well. Means you're probably sleeping deeply, which makes it all the easier for me.
Stranger: ...to feel a little bit happier about the state of the world.