You: Infinte Improbabilty Drive, activate!
Stranger: form of, the game!
You: Floyd Cube from hell!
Stranger: Transexual mountains
You: School of Rock calculator
Stranger: steel eyed giraffe
Stranger: a simple, sleepy gorilla
Stranger: a truth, an ashtray
Stranger: sheets of wellbeing
You: Rats live on no evil star!
Stranger: the good times are killing me
You: several symptoms of dabble
Stranger: rattling cancer
Stranger: a snake fucking mother on a boat. made of....sparkles....
You: dreamcast killed your best friend's parents
You: that's why I said it
Stranger: I thought you died....
You: duh, how could I know?
Stranger: shiiiiiiiiiit......is there cake there?
You: not much actually, it's a lie, you see?
Stranger: aperture got a hold of heaven too? fuckers
Stranger: is the borealis up there at least?
You: yes, but you get used to them
You: it's only cool in the first weeks
Stranger: well I suppose I have found their robots fairly charming....
Stranger: if not with a predeliction for murder
Stranger: yeah, im cool with heaven
Stranger: thanks for putting my mind at ease
You: it's not as boring as everybody tend to think
You: I mean, when they told me I was going to heaven I though "oh, jeez, I'll have nothing to do for the whole eternity"
You: but it's pretty much like down there
Stranger: would be a very good band name
You: oh, the internet is pretty fast too
Stranger: bandwitdh limits?
You: we got that quantum stuff, y'know
Stranger: shiiiiit, that's hardcore
You: one of those guys who went up here long ago built the mainframe last year
You: since then we use the cloud computing thingies, with the pun intended
Stranger: they have puns in heaven?
You: you see, bad puns don't go to hell
Stranger: oh dammit. I was hoping they'd at least go to purgatory or something
You: no, they all go here
You: but I think it wasn't always like that
You: we got to have some bad puns to make the good ones sound better
Stranger: that's true. maybe the new management considered that
You: I hear god is now a spaghetti
Stranger: I've heard that too. i cant eat italian anymore. just in case
You: no, eating italian is the new communion
You: but anyway, the new guy is good
Stranger: alright, alright
Stranger: sounds like you've got it pretty good up there
Stranger: well, it is heaven I suppose
You: and well, I don't think it's bad either
You: I go there sometimes
You: I don't think hell is bad either
Stranger: what, you go there for like tourism?
Stranger: I assumed it would be the whole america/cuba thing
You: the guys there seem very happy
You: and there are clubs, and casinos
You: it sure looks like it
Stranger: makes a lot of sense
Stranger: yea. I've always wondered...
Stranger: what if you go to hell
Stranger: you know, just see the sights
Stranger: but then throw some sins down. like, it is modelled after sin city after all
Stranger: can you still go back to heaven?
You: well, after you die they don't count anymore
Stranger: shit, so you could just go around hell killing people or whatever and FSM wouldn't care?
You: we can't kill anybody, you see
Stranger: hmm, that's true
Stranger: I guess that rules a lot of sins out, doesn't it?
You: some of the worst ones
You: but well, if you're asking that, we can do pretty much everything we want
You: after all we went to heaven
Stranger: that's true. theres got to be a lot of very moral people up there
Stranger: of course, they MUST be
You: that's not how it works, I think
You: you see, moral is not the only thuth
You: the spaghetti knows what he's doing
Stranger: thats good management right there
Stranger: write him a reccomendation. maybe they can promote him or something
You: the guy's got some future
Stranger: I wonder if there's room for advancement in heaven's corporate structure
You: oh, they don't actually work
You: it's a hobby to them
Stranger: you're telling me
Stranger: to them, managing the souls of the dead is the same as fishing
Stranger: well what do they actually do then?
You: they got common jobs
You: lawyers, doctors, accountants
Stranger: so the spaghetti is an accountant
You: no, I think he's a cook
You: most people find it strange too
Stranger: thats all kinds of insane
Stranger: you have to kill me now, dont you?
You: you're going to die when it's your time
You: or later, the Death guy is very busy, his work is taking all the time he had to dedicate to his hobby
Stranger: he should take a vacation then. get some time to himself. meet a nice girl
You: there are some other new guys helping him, but they're not skilled as Death
Stranger: hey that guy must have some great credentials
Stranger: phds and everything
You: the guy it's the best in the business... but he works as a Lawyer
Stranger: that makes so much sense
You: you really think so?
Stranger: yeah. its what I would've guessed
Stranger: I mean killing people and being a lawyer can be very similar
You: but he doesn't kill anybody
Stranger: well, I suppose killing people and being an accountatnt are similar too
Stranger: than he has the wrong title
Stranger: a tour guide in that case
You: he does that too, but that's not the hard part
You: he makes everyone who dies to be dead
You: you see, that's different from killing people
You: a little, that's why the new guys are having so much trouble
You: but they're hardworking
You: you gotta give them that
Stranger: they do the best with what they have
Stranger: well that was very eye opning
Stranger: thank you. I'm a better person because of you
You: well, I think that too
You: but it's just a hunch
Stranger: maybe I'll get into heaven now
You: you only can't be really evil
You: there are even some atheists, and agnostics and stuff here
You: I mean, a lot of them
You: nice people get here
Stranger: thats comforting
You: I mean, when they tell you the heaven is good, trust them, it's a place you'd like to be
You: well, I got to go now
You: I'm dead but I still have to sleep
Stranger: minues the death
