Heaven and the Infinite improbability drive.

That's the one who started it all. Back in September, 2nd, 2009. You'll be able to spot a nice coincidence in the random beginning if you played Portal 2.

You: Infinte Improbabilty Drive, activate!

Stranger: form of, the game!

You: Floyd Cube from hell!

You: Katamari

Stranger: Best Bet Band

Stranger: Chris Rock

Stranger: Transexual mountains

You: Crooked cloak

You: School of Rock calculator

Stranger: steel eyed giraffe

You: controller cookies

Stranger: a simple, sleepy gorilla

You: a fool, a pagoda

You: Oil hat

Stranger: a truth, an ashtray

Stranger: sheets of wellbeing

You: Rats live on no evil star!

You: palindrome

Stranger: the good times are killing me

You: several symptoms of dabble

Stranger: rattling cancer

You: snakes on a boat

Stranger: a motherfucker

You: a fuckin' mother

Stranger: a snake fucking mother on a boat. made of....sparkles....

You: dreamcast killed your best friend's parents

Stranger: hey

Stranger: that's true

You: I know

You: that's why I said it

Stranger: caroline?

Stranger: I thought you died....

You: I did

You: duh, how could I know?

Stranger: shiiiiiiiiiit......is there cake there?

You: not much actually, it's a lie, you see?

Stranger: aperture got a hold of heaven too? fuckers

Stranger: is the borealis up there at least?

You: yes, but you get used to them

You: it's only cool in the first weeks

Stranger: well I suppose I have found their robots fairly charming....

Stranger: if not with a predeliction for murder

Stranger: yeah, im cool with heaven

Stranger: thanks for putting my mind at ease

You: it's not as boring as everybody tend to think

You: I mean, when they told me I was going to heaven I though "oh, jeez, I'll have nothing to do for the whole eternity"

You: but it's pretty much like down there

You: only we are dead

Stranger: that

Stranger: would be a very good band name

You: yeah

You: oh, the internet is pretty fast too

Stranger: bandwitdh limits?

You: no

Stranger: beautiful

You: we got that quantum stuff, y'know

Stranger: shiiiiit, that's hardcore

You: one of those guys who went up here long ago built the mainframe last year

You: since then we use the cloud computing thingies, with the pun intended

Stranger: they have puns in heaven?

You: yeah

You: good and bad ones

You: you see, bad puns don't go to hell

Stranger: oh dammit. I was hoping they'd at least go to purgatory or something

You: no, they all go here

You: but I think it wasn't always like that

You: we got to have some bad puns to make the good ones sound better

Stranger: that's true. maybe the new management considered that

You: yeah

You: I hear god is now a spaghetti

Stranger: I've heard that too. i cant eat italian anymore. just in case

You: no, eating italian is the new communion

You: but anyway, the new guy is good

Stranger: alright, alright

Stranger: sounds like you've got it pretty good up there

Stranger: well, it is heaven I suppose

You: yea, it's heaven

You: and well, I don't think it's bad either

You: I go there sometimes

You: I meant hell

You: I don't think hell is bad either

Stranger: what, you go there for like tourism?

You: yeah

Stranger: I assumed it would be the whole america/cuba thing

You: the guys there seem very happy

You: and there are clubs, and casinos

Stranger: wait

Stranger: is hell vegas?

You: it sure looks like it

Stranger: wow

Stranger: that

Stranger: makes a lot of sense

You: doesn't it?

Stranger: yea. I've always wondered...

Stranger: but wait

Stranger: what if you go to hell

Stranger: for tourism

Stranger: you know, just see the sights

Stranger: but then throw some sins down. like, it is modelled after sin city after all

Stranger: can you still go back to heaven?

You: well, after you die they don't count anymore

Stranger: shit, so you could just go around hell killing people or whatever and FSM wouldn't care?

You: well

You: we can't kill anybody, you see

You: we're all dead

Stranger: hmm, that's true

Stranger: I guess that rules a lot of sins out, doesn't it?

You: yeah

You: some of the worst ones

You: but well, if you're asking that, we can do pretty much everything we want

You: but we don't

You: after all we went to heaven

Stranger: that's true. theres got to be a lot of very moral people up there

You: not really

You: I mean

You: some of them are

Stranger: of course, they MUST be

You: no, not really

You: that's not how it works, I think

You: you see, moral is not the only thuth

You: the spaghetti knows what he's doing

Stranger: thats good management right there

Stranger: write him a reccomendation. maybe they can promote him or something

You: yeah, I'll do it

You: the guy's got some future

Stranger: I wonder if there's room for advancement in heaven's corporate structure

You: oh, they don't actually work

You: it's a hobby to them

Stranger: so

Stranger: you're telling me

Stranger: to them, managing the souls of the dead is the same as fishing

Stranger: or like

Stranger: model trains

You: yeah

Stranger: well what do they actually do then?

You: many things

You: they got common jobs

You: lawyers, doctors, accountants

Stranger: so the spaghetti is an accountant

You: no, I think he's a cook

Stranger: mind

Stranger: fucking

Stranger: blown

You: most people find it strange too

Stranger: thats all kinds of insane

You: that's our universe

You: insane as it is

Stranger: you have to kill me now, dont you?

You: no, not really

You: you're going to die when it's your time

You: or later, the Death guy is very busy, his work is taking all the time he had to dedicate to his hobby

Stranger: he should take a vacation then. get some time to himself. meet a nice girl

You: there are some other new guys helping him, but they're not skilled as Death

Stranger: hey that guy must have some great credentials

Stranger: phds and everything

You: yeah

You: the guy it's the best in the business... but he works as a Lawyer

Stranger: that makes so much sense

You: you really think so?

Stranger: yeah. its what I would've guessed

Stranger: I mean killing people and being a lawyer can be very similar

You: but he doesn't kill anybody

Stranger: well, I suppose killing people and being an accountatnt are similar too

You: people die

Stranger: than he has the wrong title

You: no

Stranger: he's more like

Stranger: a tour guide in that case

You: he does that too, but that's not the hard part

You: he makes everyone who dies to be dead

You: you see, that's different from killing people

Stranger: that

Stranger: is confusing

You: a little, that's why the new guys are having so much trouble

You: but they're hardworking

You: you gotta give them that

Stranger: they do the best with what they have

You: yeah

Stranger: wow

Stranger: well that was very eye opning

Stranger: thank you. I'm a better person because of you

You: well, I think that too

You: but it's just a hunch

Stranger: maybe I'll get into heaven now

You: it's not hard

You: you only can't be really evil

You: there are even some atheists, and agnostics and stuff here

You: I mean, a lot of them

Stranger: wow

Stranger: very tolerant

You: yeah

You: nice people get here

Stranger: thats comforting

You: I mean, when they tell you the heaven is good, trust them, it's a place you'd like to be

You: well, I got to go now

You: I'm dead but I still have to sleep

Stranger: me too

Stranger: well

Stranger: minues the death